| Author | Message | ||
| rami
Senior Member Username: rami Post Number: 727 Registered: 6-2002 |
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a great holiday season! | ||
| olieoliver
Senior Member Username: olieoliver Post Number: 1663 Registered: 2-2006 |
WOW, After looking at the photo in your Profile, I sure wouldn't have expected this from you Rami, BUT I sure do agree with ya, WOO HOO the rides already begun and I'm coming up on the next steep hill. Merry Christmas, Olie | ||
| anarchyx
Member Username: anarchyx Post Number: 60 Registered: 10-2007 |
me, I don't care for fruitcake, but mashed potatoes are awesome! and I have Christmas break at the middle school, which is also awesome!(and yes, I'm 12 and go to middle school. I figure guitar maniacs aren't supposed to be homo pedophiles[I'm also smart].) | ||
| rami
Senior Member Username: rami Post Number: 728 Registered: 6-2002 |
What can I say.... Canadian winters are long and cold. I'll work off all those calories in the Spring! Cheers, Rami ;) | ||
| bigredbass
Senior Member Username: bigredbass Post Number: 1259 Registered: 9-2002 |
I think people who use skim/loFat milk in their mashed potatoes should be summarily shot. I knew I'd agree with a Hayabusa pilot! I once went home to Texas after a few too many Holiday seasons in Tennessee and bought 20 lbs of BBQ brisket and 6 dozen tamales on Christmas Eve. The next day, I passed the Turkey, etc., and made a pig of myself on the previously mentioned purchases. THAT was a happy New Year! Gravy solves everything. J o e y | ||
| bigredbass
Senior Member Username: bigredbass Post Number: 1260 Registered: 9-2002 |
WHILE WE'RE IN THIS THREAD: Dave, or somebody, can you find that hilarious post from last year about that drunken routine for taste-testing whatever that was? Anybody remember it besides me? J o e y | ||
| anarchyx
Member Username: anarchyx Post Number: 61 Registered: 10-2007 |
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| anarchyx
Member Username: anarchyx Post Number: 62 Registered: 10-2007 |
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| bsee
Senior Member Username: bsee Post Number: 1846 Registered: 3-2004 |
That's Rami's cookie recipe from last year. I see a pattern forming... http://www.alembic.com/club/messages/449/34489.html?1166918107 | ||
| rami
Senior Member Username: rami Post Number: 729 Registered: 6-2002 |
I can't take credit for those, they were forwarded to me by my bother-in-law. Great for a laugh and a little inspiration. ;) (Message edited by rami on December 21, 2007) |
