| Author | Message | ||
| bassman68
Junior Username: bassman68 Post Number: 17 Registered: 10-2007 |
So they invent a 'mind reading probe'... They zap a local band..... Lead singer is thinking..'I'm great,I could have any woman in this audience' The guitarist is thinking..'I'm the real star of this band, That blonde by the bar is really hot!' The drummer is thinking..'Where's the nearest food outlet when we're finished here?' The bass player..'E,234,A,234'..... | ||
| terryc
Senior Member Username: terryc Post Number: 424 Registered: 11-2004 |
How does a singer change a light bulb..he holds it and expects the world to revolve around him How do you confuse a guitarist..give him a sheet of music How do you stop a drummer doing constant fills..give him pizza Hear about the bass player who goes into shop asking to purchase a 5 string bass, after much conversation with the assistant on his side( he explains everything about neck width, string spacing, active electronics the assistant fianlly gets a word in edgeways and informs him that he is in a furniture shop..oops | ||
| lbpesq
Senior Member Username: lbpesq Post Number: 2895 Registered: 7-2004 |
What do you call a guitarist that breaks up wit his girlfriend? . . . Homeless What do you call someone who's tone deaf and likes to hang out with musicians? . . . a drummer. Bill, tgo | ||
| olieoliver
Senior Member Username: olieoliver Post Number: 1702 Registered: 2-2006 |
How’s that old cliché’ go …”a bass player is just a frustrated guitar player” …or is it….” a guitar player is a bass player with no rhythm”....? Olie (T B&G O) | ||
| bracheen
Senior Member Username: bracheen Post Number: 1315 Registered: 11-2003 |
I think it must be the latter, Olie. Although guitars do frustrate me no end. How to mess with a bass player, detune one of his strings but don't tell him which one. Sam | ||
| 811952
Senior Member Username: 811952 Post Number: 1314 Registered: 10-2003 |
What do you throw to a drowning bassist? His amp! *rim shot* Thanks, I'll be here all week! Don't forget to try the roast beef! | ||
| alembic_doctor
Advanced Member Username: alembic_doctor Post Number: 381 Registered: 8-2002 |
What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four. *rim shot* | ||
| crobbins
Member Username: crobbins Post Number: 93 Registered: 6-2004 |
A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!" | ||
| cozmik_cowboy
Advanced Member Username: cozmik_cowboy Post Number: 258 Registered: 10-2006 |
A man is shipwrecked, but finds his way to a small but, fortunately, inhabited island. The people had seen the ship go down, and were waiting on the beach to celebrate any survivors - a bonfire, a feast, and much constant drumming. While this is all most welcome at first, the drumming begins to wear thin after dinner, and he asks the nearest person "When does the drumming stop?" The reply comes "Oh, very bad when drumming stops!" Several hours later, as he develops a killer headache from the pounding, he again asks "When does the drumming stop?" and receives the same answer. About midnight, as he's getting ready to go to sleep, he asks again, and again is told "Very bad when drumming stops!" It continues all night, precluding sleep, and by morning he's so frazzled he grabs the first person he sees and, shaking them, yells "WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE DRUMMING STOPS?!?!?!" "Bass solo." | ||
| olieoliver
Senior Member Username: olieoliver Post Number: 1704 Registered: 2-2006 |
As Joe Dirt would say, "DAAAAANG". | ||
| chuck
Advanced Member Username: chuck Post Number: 218 Registered: 3-2005 |
How do you tell if the stage is level? When the drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth at the same time. | ||
| terryc
Senior Member Username: terryc Post Number: 425 Registered: 11-2004 |
Hear about the vocalist whenever he opened the refrigerator door he just had to burst into verse Musicians jokes...they go on & on Cosmik cowboy..did you get that from Level 42's documentary video from the late 80's(awesome bass solo after the joke) | ||
| cozmik_cowboy
Advanced Member Username: cozmik_cowboy Post Number: 259 Registered: 10-2006 |
No, never saw that vid - don't recall where I got it; most likely from a site of drummer jokes I sought out right after buying the youngest kid his drum set. Peter | ||
| byoung
Senior Member Username: byoung Post Number: 923 Registered: 12-2004 |
How can you tell that the singer is at the door? He can't find the key and can't figure out when to come in. | ||
| byoung
Senior Member Username: byoung Post Number: 924 Registered: 12-2004 |
How does a bass player screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't! The piano player does it with his left hand. | ||
| crobbins
Member Username: crobbins Post Number: 94 Registered: 6-2004 |
Two bass players walk into a bar. 3rd one ducks....}:-) | ||
| olieoliver
Senior Member Username: olieoliver Post Number: 1705 Registered: 2-2006 |
Saint Peter is standing at the Pearly Gates as people enter Heaven. He asks everyone 2 questions to determine if they may enter; A lady walks up; St Peter: Excuse me ma’am, how much money a year did you make while on earth? Lady: 42 thousand a year. St Peter: What did you do for a living? Lady: I was a teacher in grade school. St Peter: Oh that’s wonderful, molding young minds come on in. A man walks up; St Peter: Excuse me sir, how much money did you make a year while on earth? Man: 260 thousand a year. St Peter: WOW, what did you do for a living? Man: I was a jewel thief. St Peter: Oh that’s terrible stealing from others, I’m afraid I can’t let you in. Second man walks up; St Peter: Excuse me sir, how much money did you make a year while on earth? Man: 6 thousand a year St Peter: Oh yea, what instrument did you play? |
