| Author | Message | ||
| dean_m
Intermediate Member Username: dean_m Post Number: 173 Registered: 7-2002 |
For those of you that haven't seen this yet!!! Penalties for Bass Infractions Playing loudly during warm up $10 Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25 Loud cursing after mistake $10 Playing high and fast after mistake $20 Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20 Asking for "E" tuning note $25 Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50 Playing written-out walking line $50 Failure to play written walking line $75 Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50 Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50 Playing eighth notes $5 each Playing sixteenth notes $10 each Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal Dragging fast tempo $75 Dragging ballad tempo $100 Blacking out during ballad $200 Ignoring drummer's tempo $100 Following drummer's tempo $250 Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000 UPRIGHT PLAYER Showing up before first downbeat $25 Playing audibly $25 Faking changes $25 Slapping $150 Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25 Excessive sweating $25 Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50 Asking leader for a solo $30 Accepting solo when offered $50 Taking second chorus $100 Playing solo arco $400 Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100 Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200 Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500 ELECTRIC PLAYERS Checking hair between tunes $15 Experimenting with odd meters $25 Missing root at end of blistering fill $25 Playing with a pick $50 Tuning during ballad $30 Playing Jaco groove on samba $75 Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150 Attempting last word on final chord $50 Achieving last word on final chord $100 Long gliss down to final note $200 EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC Forgetting strap $10 Changing strings after every set $15 Using electric tuner $15 Setting up mic "just in case" $75 Forgetting to turn amp on $40 Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50 Asking horn player for help moving amp $25 Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4 Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass Skull decals on bass $150 Bringing fretless bass $500 CRIMINAL BAD TASTE Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10 Asking bone player about their day gig $10 Sitting behind drums on break $10 Quoting "Birdland" $25 Practicing scales during break $25 Practicing scales during drum solo $50 Practicing $150 Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50 Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $100 BASIC STUPIDITY Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10 Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20 Asking when the rock set starts $20 Continually asking "where are we?" $25 Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25 Asking bone player where "1" is $50 Taking cell phone call during 4's $100 | ||
| bigredbass
Intermediate Member Username: bigredbass Post Number: 143 Registered: 9-2002 |
When you get fined for saying "THIS is an ALEMBIC. I didn't bring the Fender; what, you raised in a barn?" P R I C E L E S S ! ! ! J o e y (Message edited by bigredbass on September 05, 2003) | ||
| palembic
Senior Member Username: palembic Post Number: 572 Registered: 9-2002 |
Like I answered before brother Paul the fake one: I lost a fortune already reading those penalties!! Brother Joey, did you received my mail. Again from here: thanks for helping me in the neck setting almost accomplished! Paul the bad one | ||
| dean_m
Intermediate Member Username: dean_m Post Number: 174 Registered: 7-2002 |
Oh man, You know how many times I've had to explain the Alembic phenomenon to other band members!?!?!? HA!!! | ||
| dean_m
Intermediate Member Username: dean_m Post Number: 175 Registered: 7-2002 |
Oh man, You know how many times I've had to explain the Alembic phenomenon to other band members!?!?!? HA!!! | ||
| pastorscott
Junior Username: pastorscott Post Number: 11 Registered: 7-2003 |
I had a musician sarcastically look at my orion and say, "What is THAT?" Is there any fine for untuning his guitar?? | ||
| alembic76407
Intermediate Member Username: alembic76407 Post Number: 172 Registered: 5-2002 |
There is not a fine for untuning his guitar, but there should be a bonus if he can get it back intune, without a tuner!!!!!! Besides, most guitar players are happy to play Fenders or Gibsons, only bass players and a few guitar players have enough good taste to play the best just kidding guitar players, nothing personal!!!! | ||
| groovelines
Intermediate Member Username: groovelines Post Number: 102 Registered: 4-2003 |
What would be better is tuning it for him, on stage, without the tuner - well worth the cost! | ||
| alembic76407
Intermediate Member Username: alembic76407 Post Number: 173 Registered: 5-2002 |
that's priceless !!!!!!!! |
