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Alembic Club » Miscellaneous » Archive through March 03, 2010 » All I can say is holy NOT to look for musicians « Previous Next »

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Senior Member
Username: glocke

Post Number: 671
Registered: 9-2002
Posted on Friday, February 05, 2010 - 2:50 pm:   Edit Post
Senior Member
Username: elwoodblue

Post Number: 983
Registered: 6-2002
Posted on Friday, February 05, 2010 - 2:53 pm:   Edit Post

That made my head hurt to read.
Senior Member
Username: hb3

Post Number: 465
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, February 05, 2010 - 3:46 pm:   Edit Post

That's not so bad. My favorites are the "no pay" ads, which usually go something like, "You must play everything we tell you to play. You cannot bring in your own songs. Note-for-note, you will play as you are told.

"No pay."
Senior Member
Username: hb3

Post Number: 466
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, February 05, 2010 - 3:58 pm:   Edit Post

"You must play our recordings EXACTLY as they were recorded. Your creative input is neither requested or desired, and will not be tolerated. You must be between 18-21 (no oldies!). No drugs. Must have pro gear. Must have own transportation. Must sing backups.

"No pay."

(Message edited by hb3 on February 05, 2010)
Intermediate Member
Username: slawie

Post Number: 161
Registered: 8-2002
Posted on Friday, February 05, 2010 - 4:09 pm:   Edit Post

I rang the number and the guy said that;

"Daves' not here Man!"

Senior Member
Username: pace

Post Number: 500
Registered: 4-2004
Posted on Saturday, February 06, 2010 - 11:55 am:   Edit Post

lol.... I saw the title of this thread and thought it might have been Flax's latest Craigslist ad/rant... We've been trying get some heads together to jam for a while now, and most recently the drummer he thought we solidified got cold feet about playing w/ "strangers" and being afraid of being "disappointed" in our caliber of playing... It'd be funny if my biological clock wasn't yearning to kick out some jams w/ a fresh batch of players!...
Senior Member
Username: bigredbass

Post Number: 1356
Registered: 9-2002
Posted on Saturday, February 06, 2010 - 9:24 pm:   Edit Post

Just say . . . 'NO'.

WHEN I was fool enough to respond to ads like this, I'd get over there and they'd be EVERYTHING they didn't want in the musicians they were hoping to round up in the ad: Can't play, can't hang, and and they sure as hell didn't wnat any of MY ideas.

THIS is exactly why I'll never play out again.

Sheesh, I'm turning into one of those internet dweebs that CAPITALIZES every other word . . . .

J o e y
Senior Member
Username: bassman10096

Post Number: 1240
Registered: 7-2003
Posted on Saturday, February 06, 2010 - 10:14 pm:   Edit Post

I've read some others that made that one sound like easygoing fun...

Joey's right, though - as a veteran of a lot of auditions, it usually turns out that the things the ad says the band does not want you to be sound an awful lot like themselves. Ever wonder how many people wouldn't recognize themselves in a crowd...
Senior Member
Username: glocke

Post Number: 672
Registered: 9-2002
Posted on Sunday, February 07, 2010 - 2:10 am:   Edit Post

Actually, these are the guys from my old band The Mystery Cats....

Joey and Bill pretty much hit the nail on the head, they were everything that they didnt want in musicians. They hardly ever practiced at home on their own, they didnt want others in the band to be in other projects, but would at times be in other projects themselves...They complained about having to play gigs at small bars, and canceled gigs at the last minute because "they were too far" in one case the drummer didnt even bother showing up because he couldnt find his hi-hat stand, but didnt bother to tell us until everyone else was already at the venue.

I left, well actually found out by this ad that I was not welcome back because they ONLY wanted to rehearse Friday nights, and every friday night at that, and I needed more flexibility than that. I had sent them an email informing them of that, and had asked if we could just do two longer reahearsals each month on a sat/sun. The next day I check out craigslist and see this ad....I was pretty shocked by the level of venom in this ad....

Now its onto bigger and better thangs with nicer peeps!
Senior Member
Username: mike1762

Post Number: 461
Registered: 1-2008
Posted on Sunday, February 07, 2010 - 11:19 am:   Edit Post

2 guys seek 4 guys to join their "band". That's pretty funny. I remember reading an interview with John Fogerty regarding the formation of CCR. The other guys had already been playing together; but nonetheless, John decided that THEY had joined HIS (1 man) band.
Senior Member
Username: terryc

Post Number: 1155
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Sunday, February 07, 2010 - 12:08 pm:   Edit Post

They sound like a***holes with no musical creativity.
I guess they really need to keep their day jobs with specifics like that!
Still the USA is a big place and they may be lucky to get someone who fits right into their ideals of a many more tribute bands can be formed before no original music is ever done..lord help me!
Senior Member
Username: 811952

Post Number: 1800
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Sunday, February 07, 2010 - 3:21 pm:   Edit Post

I think the answer is to show up for an audition with a bad cold, and fart a lot..
Username: ed_zeppelin

Post Number: 2
Registered: 2-2010
Posted on Sunday, February 07, 2010 - 7:06 pm:   Edit Post

A friend of mine responded to an ad like that, and it was two brothers who decided to be "rock stars," despite a total lack of talent or experience.

My friend (a keyboardist with a degree from Berklee) left after about five minutes.

So I got their address from him, and for fifteen years, every few months or so I'll send them postcards from "Biff" and "Muffy," a couple of "successful" musicians I made up, with stuff about their fights, psycho meds and their three horrible children, which they take on tour with them.

I'll make reference to some facet of the brothers' sad, boring lives (the town they live in, local clubs, local news stories, etc.) and I always tell them about life on the road, playing huge concerts, and never fail to mention a biker bar in the next town over from them.

I've never said anything threatening or weird in the slightest (that would spoil the surreal quality, I feel). I've also never told them the name of the act.

Hey, you have to do something. Might as well make it something funny and weird, huh?
Advanced Member
Username: jack

Post Number: 246
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Monday, February 08, 2010 - 12:21 pm:   Edit Post

Ed! Stop sending me postcards!
Senior Member
Username: hydrargyrum

Post Number: 756
Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Monday, February 08, 2010 - 2:53 pm:   Edit Post

Wow Ed, it sounds like you've really put some thought into this. Frankly, I can't see that the effort is worth it, but at least the world is a little stranger for having you in it, and that is always a good thing.
Senior Member
Username: lbpesq

Post Number: 4312
Registered: 7-2004
Posted on Monday, February 08, 2010 - 4:25 pm:   Edit Post


Love the post card stunt! Reminds me of a recent "This American Life" segment I heard on NPR. This guy heads a group of performance artists (for lack of a better term). For one stunt, they found a brand new unknown band from New England that had only played two or three gigs and was scheduled to play some dive in NYC very late on a weeknight - the typical 10 person crowd. The head guy got hold of the band's album off the net and he and 30 or 40 friends all learned the words to the songs. They showed up at the gig, packing the place and acting like they were seeing the Stones, U2, or some other huge band. Went crazy, called out song requests, sang along, etc., all while the band on stage was wondering WTF was going on. Great stunt!

Bill, tgo
Senior Member
Username: 811952

Post Number: 1801
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Monday, February 08, 2010 - 4:30 pm:   Edit Post


We NEED more of that in the world!

Senior Member
Username: flaxattack

Post Number: 2348
Registered: 4-2004
Posted on Thursday, February 11, 2010 - 2:34 pm:   Edit Post

hey mike
i just shot ya an email with a hot mp3 from a guy i found on craigs.....
i'm still working on it- one guy plays lead with a drummer
Senior Member
Username: pace

Post Number: 502
Registered: 4-2004
Posted on Friday, February 12, 2010 - 9:11 am:   Edit Post


I haven't rcvd anything yet...

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