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Alembic Club » Miscellaneous » Archive: 2005 » Archive through October 17, 2005 » Archive - 2004 » Archive through February 12, 2004 » I'm dead ...again ... « Previous Next »

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palembic
Senior Member
Username: palembic

Post Number: 1007
Registered: 9-2002
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 11:47 am:   Edit Post

I said to myself: Paul (I'm Gemini as you already know so I always have these very interesting conversations with myself) let's live up the neighbourhood a bit here.
This thread should have called "Your most embarrassing moment" but hey ...nobody would have opened it so ...this is "sexier" ...oh ..well ..huh.
Anyway this weird self-support group is in a therapeutical league already so let the stories come.
I start.
Of course.
Thsi one goes back to my public (with people and family) exam of the first grade (3 years) of upright bass.
I stepped forward took my bass, put the two sheets of music on the stand, put up my glasses, controlled my bow, checked the tuning, closed my eyes and ...concentrated ...concentrated ...I could feel the audience concentrate with me.
I opened my eyes, gave a nod to the piano player and ...off we go.
It went ...well ...not to bad.
I jumped with my eyes to the second page and ...my whole world seemed to fall apart.

I had set the page ...upside down.

I had to stop ... to the consternation of the public.
I reversed the sheet ...
the whole audience bursted in laughter.
I thought ...I'm dead.
And start playing again ...badly.
Good advice, you pubers of 50-something out there: put up your glasses FIRST.

Paul the bad one


PS: I passed the exams ...merely as the jester of the group I think. The head of the jury said they never had a laugh like that in their live!
bigbadbill
Member
Username: bigbadbill

Post Number: 82
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 12:00 pm:   Edit Post

Paul, you just get funnier and funnier.....I laughed so much at this one I nearly cried....

All the best
Shaun
janriviere
Intermediate Member
Username: janriviere

Post Number: 120
Registered: 5-2002
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 12:17 pm:   Edit Post

Same here, I nearly felt of my chair laughing.
I can really see it happening before me Paul :-)
bracheen
Intermediate Member
Username: bracheen

Post Number: 194
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 12:23 pm:   Edit Post

I won't tell on myself but I'll tell on my brother.
He was at an open audition for the NY Metropolitan Opera in Sarasota. One of the things he was to sing was an Italian aria, don't remember which one. He forgot some of the words and just made up syllables without missing a beat of the music.
Afterward one of the judges told him he needed to work on his articulation.
He failed the audition.

Sam
kenbass4
Member
Username: kenbass4

Post Number: 65
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 12:45 pm:   Edit Post

The band I was in several years ago was playing at a fairly good-sized venue in N. Calif. We were playing the main hall at the Kanochti Harbor resort while Kansas and The Doobie Brothers were playing the outdoor ampatheater. (ie, BIG GIG!!) I was playing my Ibanez Soundgear, and we were about halfway through our first set when "Crackle! POP!! SFFFFT!!!" no sound out of Ibanez. Dead. Did Ken bring a backup bass that night?? Why, NOOOO!!! We took a "quick break" and resoldered the output jack that had disconnected and finnished the set. I now bring ALL of my basses to every gig...
palembic
Senior Member
Username: palembic

Post Number: 1008
Registered: 9-2002
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 3:37 pm:   Edit Post

Open up your souls brothers and sisters, sjow us your most embarrassing moment and a heavy pain will fell off your chest. Your playing will improve ...yessir ...indeedsir!
Now ...who's next?

Paul the bad one
wideload
Junior
Username: wideload

Post Number: 22
Registered: 6-2003
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 3:57 pm:   Edit Post

Sheet music??? What's that???!!

Larry
hollis
Junior
Username: hollis

Post Number: 14
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 5:17 pm:   Edit Post

Here goes.......
I was 11 years old and my flute teacher somehow decidied that I was good enough to play for the Los Angeles Philharmonic....What she didn't know, (and neither did my parents) was that I was playing everything by ear. All the "practice" they heard was stuff I was making up as I went along....My mother took me to the audition. there I sat with about 200 very accomplished little kids...The first part of the audition went well, because I had plenty of time to listen and figure out what was expected of me before my turn came up to play. However, for the second part, the audition committee (no fools they) came around with a piece of music and placed it in front of me. All was still cool until I realized that everyone was given a different piece to play......When my turn came up to play, suffice to say it didn't go real well...
I'll never forget the look of surprised disappointment on my mother's face....
BTW I still play what I hear in my head....And (thanks to that embarrassing moment), I can even tell what a few of the notes are!
elzie
Advanced Member
Username: elzie

Post Number: 271
Registered: 8-2002
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 7:03 pm:   Edit Post

Wow!

At least I know I'm not alone! While I have MANY embarrassing moments, I'll be brief.

The first example took place about 14 years ago. I had recently joined a new band and we were going to play our first gig together at a small club called Grover's in Beverly. Yeah, you ANEC guys know how small this place was;) Well, we used to take our own sound guy with us as he owned the studio we recorded at and since I would pick him up, he would repay me with a monster bass sound through the board. Anyway, our set was a mix of originals with a good dose of covers to keep people interested in something they've heard. Soooooo, our first song of the night was Radar Love and that has a pretty powerful first beat, especially when the bass player (me) starts on the count of three and the rest of the band started on four! And I really made a spectacle of myself on that ever decreasing tiny stage by jumping and whacking my head off of one of the stage lights at the same time!! I guess what made it even worse was that some "friends" said that was our best song. EEEK!

Now for the second example I threatened you with. Waaay back in the early 80's a band I was in was playing a battle of the bands at a junior high school. Everything went wrong, all under those wonderful bright school lights..... I will never forget our drummer. He was the most powerful drummer I have ever heard. His last words to us before the show were " don't worry, I'll let you know if I'm going to solo", yeah, right. The curtain opens and what happens? A loud misplaced drum solo! That is not the end. Our first song is Heartbreaker by Led Zep. During the solo, our guitar player decides to stop and tune up on stage while plugged in ( he later went on to graduate from Berkley, but I'm sure he didn't do that there). So with all this silence, the singer decided it would be wise to start telling bad jokes and trying to invite 12 year old girls on stage. Ay carumba! Did I ever want the stage to swallow me up. Needless to say, we didn't win the battle that night ;)


Paul TEO The Embarrassed One
palembic
Senior Member
Username: palembic

Post Number: 1012
Registered: 9-2002
Posted on Monday, February 02, 2004 - 11:01 pm:   Edit Post

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrruffle-crash ...and Paul the Good one ladies and gentle people!

Brother Paul looking at your haircut you bumped into a lot of lights in your career?? ;-)

Brother Larry, if I understand Brother Danno "sheetmusic" is a guy with a thick spanish accent trying to explain it is very bad music.
LOL

Paul the bad one



bracheen
Intermediate Member
Username: bracheen

Post Number: 198
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 3:40 am:   Edit Post

Paul, TGO, please tell me those two shows were video taped and you have copies to share.

Sheetmusic? Is that like sheetrock?
palembic
Senior Member
Username: palembic

Post Number: 1014
Registered: 9-2002
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 3:55 am:   Edit Post

Rrrrrrrrrrrufle and Brother Sam is completely with us ladies and gentle people!!
angelboy
Junior
Username: angelboy

Post Number: 30
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 5:13 am:   Edit Post

I wish I had an embarrasing moment........maybe if I stayed of the booze when I play then I'd probably remember a few!

A wise man once told me that you should practice your parts until you can play them inside-out.........then you should have a few bottles and practice again until you can play them un-blemished..........I'm up to about 10 bottles before a gig and the more drunk I get, the better I sound.............oh to be a wise man......

Paul TAO
bracheen
Intermediate Member
Username: bracheen

Post Number: 199
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 5:16 am:   Edit Post

If it's worth doing, it's worth doing in excess!
jet_powers
Intermediate Member
Username: jet_powers

Post Number: 140
Registered: 2-2003
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 6:27 am:   Edit Post

More years ago than I care to recount I was playing with my band at a nearby watering hole that had a fair sized music room. I was using a wireless set up at the time and I thought I would pull a "disappearing act". The band had a dressing room on the opposite side of the room from the stage. Halfway through the last song of a set I started wandering through the crowd playing away and arrived at the dressing room door perfectly timed to the end of the song. I thought I would open the door, go through and 'disappear'. Only the door was locked. So I stood there next to the pool tables just looking silly instead.....
elzie
Advanced Member
Username: elzie

Post Number: 272
Registered: 8-2002
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 7:48 am:   Edit Post

Sorry people, none of those were caught on tape, that I know of......

Those were by far not my most embarrassing moments, they were just the music related ones. Yes, I have a whole list of more embarrassing moments, but you probably don't want to hear them here!

Paul TEO
dean_m
Advanced Member
Username: dean_m

Post Number: 267
Registered: 7-2002
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 7:59 am:   Edit Post

Here's one of many:

Came out of the bathroom one night before a gig, got on stage, started playing. Could not for the life of me understand what everyone was laughing about. Yep you guessed it, forgot to zip up. Don't ask me how you forget these things and no I wasn't drinking....yet!
The thing that gets me is that no one in the band said a word until half way through the set.
I guess they wanted to see how far it could go first. No pun intended either.

Dino the drafty one
bigbadbill
Member
Username: bigbadbill

Post Number: 85
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 9:57 am:   Edit Post

Oh boy, there was the time we had to set up in front of the ladies toilets and every time somebody needed to go I had to move out of the way (to make things worse I was also the vocalist), the time when myself and the lead singer jumped in the air at the same time and I broke his nose with my headstock, the time when a naked man came and sat at the table in front of me whilst I was singing/playing, which completely put me off....the list is endless.
gbarchus
Junior
Username: gbarchus

Post Number: 36
Registered: 6-2002
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 10:58 am:   Edit Post

Early in my career at the first performance in a new band, our first song was "Are You Ready." I jumped off the drum riser, sliding down the fretless neck to to start with a low E note and the string broke on the first beat as I hit the floor. I had never practiced the song an octave higher. I guess I wasn't ready.
811952
Member
Username: 811952

Post Number: 72
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Tuesday, February 03, 2004 - 6:47 pm:   Edit Post

My story has to do with a demo session in Nashville some 20+ years ago. The guitarist was (and amazingly still is) a good friend of mine, and we were cutting a demo of several of his instrumentals at PolyFox, if memory serves. It was a song he and I had played together for a while in a band before he got his Nashville gig which gave me the opportunity to show my arse. Anyway, We all got together beforehand to make sure we knew where things went, etcetera. There was a short bass solo (16 bars) at the end of the bridge, which I had crafted over time and had down pat. When we rolled tape, I discovered that among the things I hadn't paid attention to was the 12-bar bass solo... Oops.. I had to edit the line and relearn it really quick (but it worked out) since he was paying a half-dozen musicians and a couple of engineers union scale. I don't think I've ever felt so incredibly stupid and careless as when I cost a great friend so much money because I was too careless and arrogant to pay attention during rehearsal. Now, I write these things down and keep the papers where I can get to them quickly... I'm still embarrassed that he might remember it...
mint_bass
Junior
Username: mint_bass

Post Number: 37
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Thursday, February 05, 2004 - 2:30 am:   Edit Post

it was my first gig not too long ago and although it went fine i thought i would demenstrate my ability of being a fool in one of our songs half way through the set i play a strummed chord pattern that song went fine went to start the next song and my bass did nothing oh no i left handed and have no spare bass with me this is a problem. i decided that it could not be my brand new epic and relized i was not playing through my amp so i thought i must of blown the one i was playin through oh dear i told the crowd we were having some tech problems and then realised that my bass was off as when i had been strumming i had turned the volume nob off yes wat a fool my friends still laugh about that one every time they c me
bassman10096
Member
Username: bassman10096

Post Number: 91
Registered: 7-2003
Posted on Thursday, February 05, 2004 - 5:19 am:   Edit Post

I'm embarrassed to say how long it took me to learn to check volumes and p/u selectors before assuming, "OH MY GOD!! DEAD BASS!!!!".

Bill
811952
Member
Username: 811952

Post Number: 76
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Thursday, February 05, 2004 - 6:42 am:   Edit Post

I used to always leave the PU selector in the "off" position when I wasn't playing. I'm sure you can all imagine how much time I've spent troubleshooting my signal chain over the years.
PtJoII
Oh, and Congratulations to Paul TBO on your milestone 1000th post! Dark beers for everyone, and PICTURES!! ;-)
bracheen
Advanced Member
Username: bracheen

Post Number: 209
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Friday, February 06, 2004 - 5:18 am:   Edit Post

When our Practicing thread turned into a Bach thread it made me think of this story. Not really embarrassing but funny. Or maybe you had to be there.
In my high school music theory class we were given a melody line written by Bach. Our assignment was to write a bass line for it. I don't remember which piece it was. I wrote my line and turned it in. It was returned to me with a note on one measure that said "MOVE!". I had put two half notes in that measure. On comparing it to the original I found that Bach had written the same thing in that measure. When I pointed this out to the teacher his response was "I didn't like when he did it either".

Sam

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